I’m posting this ditty because of a coincidence that happened last night. My Wife and I watched perhaps the worst special effects movie I  have seen in the past couple years. That movie was 2012. What a piece of crap.

But now back to the article. If it is true that the Solar Flares are causing this stuff to fall then I’m getting a bigger umbrella.

A recent trip in the city got me a $50 parking ticket. Okay, my bad. I didn’t know how to work the fucking meter box and so I have a beautiful picture of the front bumper of my car on the internet courtesy of the Revenue Department. That’s not bad considering parking in a garage probably would have cost me $25 and ding or two on my doors. So I broke even. But try and go anywhere in that God Forsaken City and try to have an evening out that doesn’t cost you $50 in user fees and taxes alone and I’ll bet you never get out of your car and just drive around all night dodging pot holes and hopefully not going into the “wrong” hood and getting shot at. You see where I am headed with this?

Chicago is passing a budget that includes no less than 25 increases in fees, permits, taxes, and other (as I like to call them) anally painful deficit reduction dollars. If you have too many old City stickers on your car it is now a ticket for you. If you don’t cut your lawn and it “looks” unkept………it’s a fucking ticket. What the hell…………plant hay and get a couple cows, preferably bulls, so you can scoop up the shit and put it on Mayor Rahm’s front porch and light it and ring the doorbell, then run. What the hell are these bureaucrats thinking? That is just the City’s taxes and fees. Then you have CC and President Toni Preckwinckle passing all sorts of user fees and raising the taxes on County services and for what? I have no idea. All I know is I am glad I don’t live in the City or CC.

Now I am not saying DuPage County where I live is any better as far as getting you nipped in the ass with fees for this and fees for that, but I don’t have to pay $15-$20 to park then get my ass taxed to hell when I buy a dinner or a museum ticket. I go and park, sometimes in a garage, for FREE and then go to dinner at a nice restaurant of any ethnic origin you can think of. I don’t see an “amusement tax” on the bill or have to deal with potholes and asinine people that drive on the City streets, or want to take a pot shot at me. No I have a nice quiet evening and then can walk it off and come home and feel unwound and relaxed. Instead if I go in the City I come home and wish I could take a Valium or beat the shit out of some crackhead.

So I just want to say thank you Rahm, and I might as well add Toni too, for making my desire to never go into Chicago for anything a lot easier to take. As for the people that live in the City, especially those of lower and middle class, I pity your souls. If you haven’t got the joke yet look in the mirror it’s on you. Your civic leaders are making you bend over and take the high hard one more and more everyday by Nickel and Dime-ing and for that matter Dollar-ing you to death. So my suggestion to you is GET OUT, GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN!! Before they build a wall and separate you from the rest of the world so you can’t escape because they start losing too much revenue.

Any comparison to a wall and a Jewish Mayor is purely coincidental and not intended to be taken that way………………….. Really.

Peace

I was reluctant to go to this affair because I wasn’t what you consider a social person.  The fact that I was bused and had a work permit in the school office allowed me to start school as early as possible and get the hell out of there. I was home by 2:00pm all four years which I considered a God send. As you might have figured out I didn’t enjoy school except senior year. Then I took every easy elective class possible and enjoyed the smoking area and all its attributes to the fullest. SMOKING AREA, it was fucking great! There we were the pot heads, nicotine fiends and the occasional acid droppers right out in front of the school to greet any visitor who might wonder in the great circle drive in front of the school. Welcome to our school, never mind the unusual smells. It was my social studies class for my senior year. The fact that I graduated was a miracle in itself. Thanks to paying off kids for answers and becoming quite proficient at cheating beginning in Freshman year I graduated with the exact number of credits I needed. No more, no less. It was a shame they didn’t have a course on cheating I could have taught it. The other thing that helped much is I didn’t talk or participate in class. I might have gotten in trouble if I did. But I digress.

The event was well attended and had representatives from every year just about. I was pleasantly surprised to be greeted by one of my Facebook friends who in turn re-acquainted me with someone who actually rode my bus ……… and hadn’t changed. How the hell do people do that…….. look just like they did 35 years ago??  Shit, have I been cursed as far as looks go. Oh well. I proceeded to meet more Facebook friends and a few more people that hadn’t changed. I was introduced to people that I went to school with from grade school through high school and people I probably had in some of my classes but couldn’t remember. We reminisced about teachers, fellow classmates and talked about where we have gone and what we are doing now. Was there people I missed seeing that didn’t show? Inside I wish I would have seen the first girl I kissed………… maybe.

The most important thing I came away with that night was a sense of self worth. Something that I lost in high school and never really thought about til I got sober. It was amazing to meet people who became successful in a variety of fields. Who for whatever reason overcame obstacles and trials and became worthy people. Who, whether they were monetarily well off or not didn’t matter. They seemed genuinely happy and were there because they still felt a bond of some kind to those high school days. Will I go again? I don’t know yet. I do know that I have established a re pore with a couple of classmates that I can call friends and for that I am grateful. To the one friend who was persistent in urging me to go, thank you. I have once again realized that I am someone, a person of substance, a Father of three amazing kids, and the Husband to the greatest Woman I know. Peace

Answer A) “Well, um, no.”

Answer B) “Yes I did but do I have to acknowledge it?”

Answer C) “Yes I did and I think………”

How often do we actually listen to every word a person says to us? I for one am extremely guilty of being a “selective” listener, but I have become more aware of it and try to listen more intently to what people are saying to me. I did this through many different practices and for a very major reason. I noticed some of the people that I surround myself with have something I have desperately sought. Now do I have your attention? You are asking “What do they have Ray?” Money? A way to stay thin and still eat 5000 calories everyday? Shiny 2011 model cars? No debt? A house that has no upkeep and cleans itself, along with permanently clean clothes? A job they enjoy?

I could list more but you get the idea. How about none of those. How about a little serenity in their lives? How about a lack of depression? How about the feeling of purpose?

Up until I found a way to achieve a little bit of each of those in my life I was a “self-will run riot”(1). Life used to be about me. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on was my way of thinking. It seemed to be a fine way of living until I realized that my life was shit and going down hill fast. I was losing control of my life and realized I was becoming a person I didn’t want to be. But how do I change 30 years of living that way and come to an understanding that I have “purpose”? The bigger question is how do I get a little peace of mind or serenity in my life? Before you go and think I found God and have become a holier than though right wing christian fanatic? Wipe that thought off your mind slate and lets start with a new type of canvas.

Yes I did find God, as mentioned in an earlier post, but that wasn’t the only thing I found. I found the ability to listen and be envious of others wisdom. I found the ability to take the words of others and use them like a carpenter uses tools. What words I found to be useless at the time I didn’t erase out of my mind, rather I put them in my “toolbox”. I learned that I wasn’t alone in my egotistical, self-centered thinking that’s for sure. But what I found was each person had his or her own way of dealing with it. I learned that sharing my experiences not only helped me learn about Ray and all his foibles but helped others to understand my turmoil. In turn those sharing their experiences helped me to improve my thinking and relationships. But I am human and with that comes all of the defects that inhabit the addictive mind. I had to surrender my way of doing things completely and listen to what my “friends” were telling me and be able to use their knowledge and wisdom without reservation. Most of the time this was as difficult as pinching a hemorrhoid, but I soon learned they were much more happy and content than I was so I had better listen.

So has my life changed? You bet. There is a paragraph in “The Big Book” that pretty much sums up what kind of metamorphosis has occurred. It’s called The Promises.(1)

If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and selfpity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us—sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.

I read countless number of self help books, many of which added to my confusion, but some had simple life lessons to be taken. Some are still on my book shelf because just looking at the titles makes me realize how far I’ve come and what I need to do. “The Road Less Traveled” series and the collection of short stories and words of wisdom of Robert Fulghum still are as relevant today as they were when they were first published. But books can only give me so much. Learning to deal with life’s situations and not falling back into my old way of thinking are only found through sharing experiences and learning what makes Ray think and react the way I do.

 Learning to listen. Listen to learn.

Notes:

(1) Alcoholics Anonymous ”The Big Book” –The Promises found on pages 83 and 84. “self-will run riot”- Page 62

When my daughter first approached me about taking photos of her in, well, enough material to make a jock strap for myself I thought, um, well, I think my question was “Can’t you find a gay guy to do it?”. She just rolled her eyes like she does anytime I make a typical “Archie Bunker” remark. So I agreed to do it. Four weeks before her first show in Davenport this past weekend she dragged me to the gym. There we met with her trainer, who is also her boyfriend (I’ll give him a chance, he is bigger than me) and a coach from High School. In the following weekends, two more young women joined in the comradery to give pointers to Janel as far as her posing and walk. My job was to take progress pictures. Now my favorite things to take pictures of are of Mother Natures doing such as landscapes, animals, insects, flowers and so on. I am not familiar with taking an athletes progress pictures, especially of one that is near and dear to my heart. But I found it to be truly fascinating. Using my remote flash on a tripod it was very inspiring to see how the human body can show its muscles and how human flesh reflects and shadows light. I actually was able to tell how much she had progressed in her training and dieting! I actually could tell when she was “spot on” with a certain pose or if she had to make an adjustment. I would make suggestions but I am not a body builder or fitness/ figure person so I would leave the final decisions to the pros. But I did it all through the lens of a camera and I found it truly amazing.

So on with the show. We missed the morning pre-judging because of previous commitments but managed to get to Davenport in time to meet up with Janel and (what’s his name) Jason. We got a wonderful tour of the St. Ambrose College campus, Jason’s alma mater and Janel finally crashed in the backseat of the car for a good half hour nap while Jason, my wife Cindy and I invaded a Dunkin’ Donuts/33 Flavors. The night before I had called the promoter and he had set aside two tickets for Cindy and I. Two tickets in the center section, third row; awesome!!! I didn’t need a flash and we could witness every pose and see the nervous contestants every flaw without a doubt. When it came to Janel’s group of twelve girls to come out Momma and Dad were as nervous as the contestants. One at a time they came out and strutted their stuff (Work on ”the swagger Janel!!”). Turning and posing for the judges and exiting the stage.

                                                                                                                                                                   3 weeks before the show.      @the show.

Cindy and I continued to watch and be entertained by all the other contestants and in some cases make remarks both good and bad about them. I took pics of some and cringed at others. But through it all I kept thinking these folks have a lot more guts than I’ll ever have. And are twice as fit as I’ll ever be. It then came time to announce the results of Janel’s category of what they call “Figure Short”.  The top five finalists were called out one at a time and it went something like “contestant number one, contestant number two, Janel Vegter  from Carol Stream, IL, contestant number four ” and well after the sweat finally left my hands I got a hold of my camera and was shaking so bad I had a hard time getting adjusted. So then they announced the order of finish. ”In fifth………….In fourth…………….In third, Janel Vegter.” I never heard the rest, I was ecstatic!! Who cared, my daughter placed third in her first body competition ever!!  And you know what? I have pictures to prove it!!

I am officially announcing my candidacy for the President of these United States. I am running under the slogan of “Beer, Brats, and Broads” which will take the place of “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”. It doesn’t look like another candidate is going to be worth voting for so “Vote for me and I’ll set you free!!”

I will be searching for a VP candidate for the next couple weeks and will be using the utmost discretion in choosing my fellow running mate. The position is open to all, including Dogs, Cats, and the recently deceased.  Please leave your resume’ in the comments section. You must be available 24/7 to make mumbly remarks and press statements much like our current Veep. That is about all I will require. Thank you American public and I will see you at the White House in 2012!!

Yours truly, Ray Vegter

Oh yea, I almost forgot!          God Bless America!

So now the people will do, as in past natural disasters, start to rebuild and analyze what went right, and what went completely wrong. In the absence of actually being there, I will tell you what I think went wrong and what went right. First off what went wrong? Nothing. This is a natural disaster. Sure nuclear power plants were damaged (some exploded and as of this writing one is believed to have begun to meltdown), dams broke and washed away whole villages, trains disappeared off tracks and total mayhem engulfed a country. The death toll will continue to climb, 1300 was the latest estimate, which by looking at the devastation is low, but ”miracles” will start to unfold.

So what went right? Everything. Japan is the most technologically advanced country in the world. It’s buildings have been built in the last 30 years to withstand earthquakes and for the most part did. It’s tsunami warning system alerted people countrywide of the ensuing surge of water. Unfortunately the quake happened close to shore so the wave hit before people had a chance to move inland. But it put in motion the most practiced and efficient chain of events that mankind could ever develop. And it didn’t happen only in Japan but in many other countries also. Pictures started appearing within hours of LA Search and Rescue teams packing up their gear and getting ready to go to Japan to help. Germany, Great Britain, and many other European countries were doing the same thing. What a scene to lift your spirits and step back and say “Wow, there is hope!”

So I could go on and tell you what a terrible catastrophe this is, there is no denying that, but I choose to tell you that mankind with all its foibles and faults is showing its good side. I hope when you read this you to will see that we as inhabitants of this good earth also have a duty to our fellow-man. No matter what religion, color, or creed, if we are going to survive we must work together. That is where we must go. 

Peace

But Spike is my buddy. There have been times recently I was ready to shoot him myself but if you saw him you would know why I couldn’t. Spike is part of our family history. He was on vacations with us. He saw all three of my kids grow up and graduate from high school and college. He saw me get sober and find a God. He saw relatives pass and relatives born. He was the playmate to my kids when they were growing up. Strong enough to pull my kids on skateboards and roller blades when they were growing up, but gentle and trustworthy enough to have by an infant.

To be continued………..

11:38am I am home. Spike let me know his opinion until the end. He managed to defecate on the vets table before the needle even went in, letting me know that no matter how poor of health he was in he would give me a hard time until the end. It was the toughest thing I have ever done in my life. Holding my little buddy until his heart didn’t leave a rhythm in my arms. His white eyes still staring and making me think of his younger years, like when he shocked the shit out of everybody by jumping off a pier and swam out to the kids on a floating dock. Like when he went fishing with me out in a row-boat and would look over the side at his reflection. The way he followed me at my feet ever so trying to trip me. The way he followed the kids up hills at Starved Rock and ran with them full speed down the slopes. The way he was afraid of a toad in the backyard, but wasn’t afraid to stick his snout in something that would bite back like a cactus. The way he was afraid of thunder and lightning until he became deaf. He would tremble until an hour after the storm passed.

I will miss you Spike, as will my Children, and dare I say even my Spouse. You have taught me much about love and patience and I will always be grateful for that. When the time comes I will share more stories about Spike but right now I have to take another break and cry a little. 

                                                                                                                               Peace, Ray

If you read my about page you saw my favorite quote- “I don’t care!” If I don’t care then why am I writing about God and His influence on my life? Simple-I define my God as just that, MY GOD! He doesn’t control your life, your beliefs, your everyday hectic, running around like a chicken with your head cut off life. My God controls my life and that’s it. So poo on you if you don’t have a God like mine. It’s to bad, I feel sorry for you on that count and I hope one day you find one but since it doesn’t directly effect me? I don’t care! Is my God special? You bet! Does He punish me? Not the slit my wrist and cry out in pain and agony type punishment but, yes He does. Does He reward me? Yes He does! Does He tell me or at least help me to make everyday decisions. Yes he does, on the condition I ask him for help.

So how does this God thing work for me? Better yet let’s start at day one. I at one point had reached what you might call a complete mental and physical breakdown. Life was good. I was happily married, two Sons who were 3 years old and 17 months respectively. I was employed full time, had a house, two cars and all the trappings to make an alcoholic proud. But that was the problem I was (and am) an alcoholic. Now your saying what a fricking (sensor) idiot to admit to that! No I had to admit to that to find a God. Sort of like a soldier in battle who is facing the enemy and having RPG’s shot past his head and praying to God to keep his ass whole just one more day and He will forever believe in God and pray everyday. Bullcrap. As soon as the firing stops he gets up and runs like hell and thanks his buddies for covering his ass and feeling guilty for the ones that didn’t make it. That was me too!! But I had something else-history. I’ll skip the really personal crap but I went to the family Doctor for my first required IDOT physical and he just happened to notice my high blood pressure, blood spots in the urine and nervous tremors and asked if I drank. I believe my reply was some BS like “well I enjoy a beer or two when I get home from work”. Right, and four more beers and throw in a couple of Southern Comfort shots with that. Look, the Doc knew my history and all he said was “Watch it. It will get ya”.So where did I find God? At the bottom of a Southern Comfort bottle? Nope. I found him in what I have come to believe was an act of “divine intervention”. I ran a van through a garage wall and managed to get out of the van and tell my Wife that she needed to get me to the treatment center. Do I truly believe I would have said that without some kind of intervention? Not at all. Something or someone told me I needed help. So that is where I got introduced to this God thing.

So how does He work for me? He doesn’t. I work for him. You see if left to my own devices I would, as a great handbook I have on living calls it, be “a self-will run riot”. So I leave it up to him to control my life. Is it a perfect relationship? Heck no. I still wanna run my life. But I have proven to myself that running my own life ain’t an option. Well it’s an option, but it has severe, if not deadly consequences. So I let him teach me what I should do in situations that 20 some odd years ago would have been decided or washed away over a few (many) drinks. I let him guide my decisions in everything I do including ones that involve my children, pets and my wife….well maybe except for one. I’m sorry I still like wearing Blue Jeans, Cowboy Boots and a Cowboy Hat. Somethings I haven’t let go.

To be continued…until then…..Peace to you.

I had to laugh when President Obama (and I can’t quote verbatim) said once in our lives we witness an event that changes the world. Umm Mr. President I witnessed many. Well they might have not changed the world, they changed me and my world! To name a few isn’t hard, getting married, the birth of my three children, vacations, and possibly the most important one, getting sober and finding MY God. (The MY God part will be discussed at a later time.) Those are just things that effected my world. Events like Viet Nam (we can actually go on vacation there, and have a trade agreement with them?), 9/11, Iraq, red light cameras, and the Internet are things that not only effected me but everybody else. I added red light cameras because they are one of the many pains our Government has to torment us. I digress.  But each time something happened I stepped back and asked that question, you know, where do we go from here?

In the case of Egypt, what history unfolds in the coming days, month, and years will not only affect them but also me. How? Simple really? Egypt has long been one of our Middle East Allies which we give only $200M a year in aid. That averages out to a mere $2.60 per capita in that country. Will that aid be cut off ?  Never. I withhold my opinion at this time regarding that issue. One thing is for certain, the shipment of oil hopefully will continue out of Egypt’s ports and through the Suez Canal or else there will be a real rise in our cost of living. Will  they end the blockade to the Gaza? A major dilemma for Israel and the US. Where is Egypt headed as far as culture and religion? Will they have a ruling party that is more extreme? Will they have the Muslim Brotherhood as a major influence? (Side note, a piece on Al Jazeera news I was watching stated that the Muslim Brotherhood had only 20% support in Egypt and in recent years have become much more moderate in their beliefs.) All these questions I have will be answered, and you know what? I am completely powerless over their outcome. Or am I?

The revolution in Egypt began with a few things that culminated into one big thing. Tunisia + Wael Ghonim (and a few others) + Repression = Revolution. What started out as violent confrontations with Mubarak’s Secret Service quickly grew into mass, and for the most part peaceful demonstrations.  All of which were orchestrated on Facebook, Twitter, and every other social media available. The one really major factor in this is it wasn’t a revolution brought on by another ruling party or extremeist organization. It was brought about by young people!! College students, young business men, doctors, and everyday people who were tired of the same ole’ same ole’. 

So I get back to my original question. Where do we go from here?  Maybe the bigger question is if I had the chance would I change the world? History is amazing to watch unfold.

To the people of Egypt, the Pharoah has let you go.

Where do you go from here?

References

http://carnegieendowment.org/publications/index.cfm?fa=view&id=23282